--Ayushi Mal


“Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.”

Being a people pleasure has nothing intrinsic. It is the resultant of the fear being accumulated of being excluded. There is a difference between love and acceptance, we can accept everyone as they are without any need of loving them. As we have heard, everything begins from within. In order to accept others, we need to accept ourselves first. We need to embrace ourselves with all our flaws and imperfections. Acceptance means acknowledging them for who they are without undergoing any constant struggle to change them. And if we find something wrong in them and wanted to change certain behavior then we must accept them firstly.


Acceptance just means you accept them as they are. Once you have accepted them completely, affirm as you want them to see them and believe they have already become the one you are perceiving of. Don’t see the reality as it is, but perceive it as you want it to be. Even though whatever you are affirming has not been taken place in physical realm but make sure that whatever change you want has already occurred in your mind. Make sure you never condemn or criticize for their current behavior. From this, I don’t mean any superficial change rather change in terms of thoughts. Never even attempt to condemn and contemplate in your thoughts. Always try to bring back the focus on the thing which you want to see and make sure you see it actually taking place.


“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”

By being empathetic, we can accept others fully. Once we put ourselves in others shoes, we will be able to judge less and accept more. Once, I was sitting on a park and saw one lady came and sit next to me while her two little sons were making horrible faces and jumping all over, I was so afraid to see them and then I saw their mother, who paid no attention to them. She was drowned in her own thought without any attention of what her kids were doing. She was sitting as if there is no one all around. It made me fall in awe, how a mother could be as such. I even questioned her responsibility. While dialogues were being played in my mind, she stood up and took her children and went away. After She passed by, I overheard two women murmuring about the loss of her husband, few days back. As I heard that, I went totally blank. I really felt so bad for thinking that way, for judging someone without even knowing what turmoil they are going through.  I concluded her to be a super irresponsible mother while being unaware of the fact. She was possibly doing her best to keep their children happy. After knowing the fact, my whole perspective changed. The woman who was appearing irresponsible few minutes ago has turned into a lovable mother. My whole narrative changed towards life after that moment.